Director: Jeremy Lever
Writer:
jeremy Leven (charcter John Juan: Lord Byron)
With : Johnny
Depp, Marlon Brando, Faye Dunaway, Geraldine Pailhas, Bob Dishy,
Rachel Ticotin, Talisa Soto
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Juan (voice)
My name is Don Juan De Marco. I am the
son of the great swordsman, Antonio Garibaldi De Marco. Who was
tragically killed defending the honour of my mother, the
beautiful, Dona Inez Santiago de San Martine. I am the world's
greatest lover. I have made love to over a thousand women.I was
twenty-one last Tuesday.
Doorman
Good evening, sir.
Don Juan
Good evening, Nicholas.
Don Juan (voice)
No woman has ever left my arms
unsatisfied. Only one has rejected me. And as fortune would have
it, she is the only one who has ever mattered. This is why, at
twenty-one, I had determined to end my life. But first... one
final conquest.
Don Juan
May I?
Woman
Um, well actually... I'm expecting a
friend, er, he's been delayed, but he should be here soon.
Don Juan
Well, I will not linger. I am Don
Juan.
Woman
That's very funny. Is there a costume
party at the hotel?
Don Juan
No. I am Don Juan. Directly descended
from the noblest Spanish family.
Woman
And you seduce women.
Don Juan
No. I, I never take advantage of a
woman. I give women pleasure... if they desire it. It is of
course, the greatest pleasure they will ever experience. There
are some women... fine featured, a certain texture to the hair,
a curve to the ears that, that is sweeps like a turn on a shell.
These women... have fingers, with the same sensitivities as
their legs. The fingertips have the same feelings as their feet,
and when you touch their knuckles, it is like passing your hands
along their knees. And this, tender, fleshy part of the finger,
is the same as brushing your hands along their thighs. And...
finally...
Don Juan (voice)
Every woman is a mystery to be solved.
But a woman hides nothing from a true lover. Her skin colour can
tell us how to proceed... a hue like the blush of a rose, pink
and pale, and she must be coaxed to open her petals with a
warmth like the sun. The pale and dappled skin of the red-head
calls for the lust of a wave crashing to the shore, so we may
stir up what lies beneath and bring the foamy delight of love to
the surface. Although there is no metaphor that truly describes
making love to a woman... the closest is playing a rare musical
instrument. I wonder, does a Stradivarius violin feel the same
rapture as the violinist, when he coaxes a single perfect note
from its heart?
Don Juan
Muchas gracias, senorita.
Don Juan (voice)
Every true lover knows that the moment
of greatest satisfaction comes when ecstasy is long over. And he
beholds before him the flower which has blossomed beneath his
touch.
Man
Sorry I'm late, honey, it was
unavoidable. I hope you went ahead without me.
Don Juan (voice)
Oh, well. Now I must die.
Jack Mickler
Hey.
Det. Tobias
Evening, Jack.
Jack Mickler
How you doing, my man? And, er, you're
putting on a little weight in here.
Det. Tobias
Well, you know...
Jack
Mickler
What?
Det. Tobias
You and me been going to the same
bakery. Sorry to do this to you, Jack. But this is a job that
only 'super-shrink' can handle. He's a... jumper to be reckoned
with, I'm telling you.
Jack
Mickler
What's the costume?
Det. Tobias
He's Don Juan. He, er, wishes to end his
life, er, gloriously. He wants us to send our finest swordsman
to do battle with him, preferably... preferably Don Francisco de
Silva.
Jack
Mickler
Did he, actually say this?
Det. Tobias
Well, he's up there.
Jack
Mickler
How do you get in here?
Det. Tobias
Over here.
Voice
Ready now.
Jack
Mickler
Are you sure this is how Freud
started?
Det. Tobias
What do I know, I'm just a dumb cop.
Jack
Mickler
Very true.
Don Juan
Where is Don Francisco de Silva? I will
fight none other.
Jack
Mickler
Er...
Don Juan
Where is he?!
Jack
Mickler
Don Francisco de Silva left for Majorca
on this weekend, but I am his uncle, Don Octavio de Florez.
Don Juan
Oh, this will not do. I must die at the
hands of Don Francisco. I am Don Juan De Marco.
Jack
Mickler
You... are the Don Juan?
Don Juan
This is correct.
Jack
Mickler
Why, with so many successes, does the
great Don Juan wish to end his life?
Don Juan
Because there is nothing left to live
for.
Jack
Mickler
Do you mean to say there is nothing at
all?
Don Juan
Not when my Dona Ana is everything.
Jack
Mickler
Ah, her name is Dona Ana.
Don Juan
Now you understand why I must die. I ask
only that it be at the hands of Don Francisco, so it may be said
I died in glory from a worthy opponent.
Jack
Mickler
Don Juan, this young woman... Dona Ana,
must be very special. I would like so much to hear about
her.
Don Juan
Have you ever met a woman who, inspires
you to love... until your every sense is filled with her? You
inhale her, you taste her, you see your unborn children in her
eyes, and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your
life begins with her, and without her, it must surely end.
Jack
Mickler
I have no doubt that losing a love like
this can be very painful, but, why lose hope along with life?
Why lose everything? You must not forget, my friend, that the
power of your love, the power of the love of Don Juan is
eternal, and will not be denied.
Don Juan
I apologise... for this unmanly display,
Don Octavio.
Jack
Mickler
Please.
Don Juan
I accept.
Jack
Mickler
Bravo. Bravo.
Security
Guard
Hey. Morning Doc.
Jack
Mickler
Whit male, aged twenty-one, brought in
on a ten day paper after a suicidal gesture. Apparently
precipitated by a, break up of a relationship, and the patient
indicates no previous history of suicide, no record of any prior
hospitalisation. There's no record of anything, school, jail,
mother, father, parents. And this kid is... wazako, and is
severely delusional... and believes he is somebody else.
Woman
Doctor
Anybody we know?
Jack
Mickler
Name's Don Juan. I'm not kidding
you.
Paul
Showalter
Let's settle down now, and, er...
Jack
Mickler
I'm always the bad boy in these.
Paul
Showalter
Jack. Who wants him?
Jack
Mickler
I do.
Paul
Showalter
Wait a minute.
Jack
Mickler
Don't be exasperated.
Paul
Showalter
Jack, wait a minute. Are you not
retiring?
Jack
Mickler
Of course I'm retiring, but I think
this'd make a hell of a swan song.
Paul
Showalter
This sounds like a long-term case to me,
the way you described it, I'm gonna give it to Bill. Do you have
the time?
Bill
Dunsmore
Uh-uh.
Jack
Mickler.
Er, let's wait. Hold on one second. Er,
no offence, I'd like to discuss this in some detail. Can we do
it? Talk about it later? Is that all right?
Paul
Showalter
I look forward to it.
Jack
Mickler
I want this kid.
Paul
Showalter
Be reasonable. Jack you're leaving in
ten days.
Jack
Mickler
Well, so's the kid.
Paul
Showalter
No, no, no, no, no. A delusional patient
like this does not get cured in a week and a half. The instant
his ten day paper expires, he'll be committed. Then we'll have
to transfer him to Bill anyway.
Jack
Mickler
If this was a year ago, and I said I
could get this kid outta here in ten days, there wouldn't be any
doubt.
Paul
Showalter
Well, that's probably true.
Jack
Mickler
Yes, so that's not the real reason that
you're giving him to Bill.
Paul
Showalter
Oh, Jack. You've been doing it by the
numbers for months now, you know it. You're burnt out. That's
why you asked for early retirement. You don't need more time to
travel with Marilyn. So, please, Jack... don't make my life
harder for me than it has to be.
Jack
Mickler
How long have I known you? Twenty-five
years, we've been going around like this.
Paul
Showalter
Yes, and during that time, you're the
best damn clinician this place has ever seen. The best.
Everybody knows that. But now it's time... you know what? It's
time to get away. Where are you going? The pyramids, oh it's
wonderful, all that sand, the sky, those vistas, you'll have a
wonderful time.
Jack
Mickler
I wish you could see your face.
Paul
Showalter
Jack! I'm giving him to Bill.
Jack
Mickler
This kid is gonna do a flamenco number
on Bill's head, until it looks like a tortilla. And it's gonna
be on your watch.
Bill
Dunsmore
Em. Would you, um, would you like to
talk about why you attempted to kill yourself?
Don Juan
You want Don Juan De Marco, the world's
greatest lover, to talk to you? What do you know of great love?
Have you ever loved a woman... until milk leaked from her, as
though she had just given birth to love itself, and now must
feed it or burst? Have you ever tasted a woman, until she
believed that she could be satisfied, only by consuming the
tongue that devoured her? Have you ever loved a woman so
completely, that the sound of your voice in her ear, could cause
her body to shudder, and explode with such intense pleasure,
that only weeping could bring her full release? Where is Don
Octavio de Florez?
Bill
Dunsmore
Who? Who?
Don Juan
My host at this villa.
Bill
Dunsmore
Villa? Villa?
Don Juan
Villa.
Bill
Dunsmore
Villa? Oh, villa?
Don Juan
Si, villa.
Bill
Dunsmore
Villa.
Don Juan
Villa.
Bill
Dunsmore
Villa.
Don Juan
Where is Don Octavio?
Bill
Dunsmore
Do you, do you mean, Doctor Mickler?
Don Juan
Who?
Bill
Dunsmore
Erm, why do you think that, erm, Doctor
Mickler is, erm, Don Octavio de Florez?
Don Juan
Why do you think that Don Octavio de
Florez is Doctor Mickler?
Jack
Mickler
Well, hello there, Willy. How are
you?
Bill
Dunsmore
Don Octavio de Florez?
Jack
Mickler
I just said that...
Bill
Dunsmore
No! You told him, that you were Don
Octavio de Florez.
Jack
Mickler
What? Jesus!
Bill
Dunsmore
You told a delusional patient, that you
were a seventeenth century Spanish nobleman.
Jack
Mickler
The idea was to get him in the bucket,
right?
Bill
Dunsmore
Well, um, he's all yours... Don.
Jack
Mickler
Wait, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Did you tell, er, Paul?
Bill
Dunsmore
Oh, you bet I did!
Jack
Mickler
And what did he say?
Bill
Dunsmore
His exact words were, "Jack broke it,
let him fix it."
Don Juan
This is very kind of you to show me the
way, Gloria.
Jack
Mickler
Yeah?
Maria
Doctor Mickler?
Jack
Mickler
Yeah. Come on in.
Gloria
Doctor Mickler, um, Doctor
Mickler...
Jack
Mickler
Hi.
Gloria
I've brought, um, Mr Juan here for his
appointment.
Jack
Mickler
Thank you, Gloria.
Gloria
I can return, um, at the end of the hour
and see him back.
Jack
Mickler
No, it's okay.
Gloria
No!
Jack
Mickler
I'll see him to...
Gloria
It's really no trouble, no trouble. I'll
be passing by this door in exactly one hour, right on the
nose.
Jack
Mickler
Gloria.
Gloria
No trouble.
Jack
Mickler
Thank you.
Gloria
I have a break coming up...
Jack
Mickler
Thanks a lot.
Gloria
No problem.
Jack
Mickler
Thanks a lot. What are you doing to
these girls?
Don Juan
Your people have taken my mask, Don
Octavio. They had no right to do that. I never remove my mask in
public. Do you understand the consequences of this?
Jack
Mickler
Not fully, bur, er...
Don Juan
Well, I will be cursed.
Jack
Mickler
Well, I can certainly understand how
that could be upsetting.
Don Juan
Well, think how you would feel if you
were made to take off this mask that you are wearing.
Jack
Mickler
Oh, well, our masks really get us in
dutch, don't they? How long you been wearing yours?
Don Juan
Since I was sixteen. I placed the mask
on my face, and vowed never to remove it, on the day I left my
mother, the dark beauty, Dona Inez.
Jack
Mickler
I have some pills here, and, um, I'd
like you to take them for me, I think they'll help.
Don Juan
Pills to stop delusions? Well, then I'm
afraid we must take these pills together. Because, you are
seriously deluded.
Jack
Mickler
Well, what delusions have I got?
Don Juan
This fantasy that you are some, er...
Doctor Mickler. I am very disappointed in you, Don Octavio, very
disappointed.
Jack
Mickler
Here's the drill. They can make you take
the medication, that's state law. You're on what they call a ten
day paper, and, er, for those ten days they can do... whatever
they think is appropriate.
Don Juan
I am not deluded. I am Don Juan. And if
you will not medicate me for these ten days... I will prove it
to you.
Jack
Mickler
All right, and what if I don't believe
that you're Don Juan?
Don Juan
Then I will take your medication, and
you may commit me for as long as you like. Do we have an
agreement? Do I have these ten days to tell you my story?
Jack
Mickler
Okay.
Don Juan
Very well. I was born in Mexico.
Don Juan
(voice)
It became evident, from a very early
age, that there was something different about me. I, myself,
slowly began to realise that my play was not like that of the
other boys. By the time I was ten, the attraction that females
had for me was becoming of some concern to my mother. She
presented me to God, and asked the Lord to save me before it was
too late. Apparently it was too late. The lessons I learned in
church were not without value, however. By the time I was
twelve, I understood the obligation the Lord spoke of to share
one's blessings with those less fortunate.
Woman
(speaks in Mexican)
Don Juan
(voice)
One night I watched Dona Querida at the
window in her slip, and noticed for the first time, how a
woman's underclothing barely touches her skin. How it rides on a
cushion of air as she moves. How the silk floats about her body,
brushing her flesh like an angel's wings, and I understood how a
woman must be touched.
Jack
Mickler
Are you Italian, Mexican or Spanish?
Don Juan
That is all you have to say? You want to
know my nationality?
Jack
Mickler
No. Your name is De Marco, that's
Italian. You were brought up in Mexico, and when you speak
English, you speak it with a Castilian accent.
Don Juan
Well, my accent has been coloured by my
many travels. Very well, I will answer your question. I was
raised in Mexico, my father was born in Queens, his name was
Tony De Marco, he was Italian. The dance-king of Astoria.
Jack
Mickler
Excuse me. Your father was a dance-king,
here, in New York City, in Astoria?
Don Juan
Si.
Don Juan
(voice)
My father had come to Mexico to work for
a pharmaceutical company. He had just gotten off the bus and was
walking to a nearby hacienda to enquire about renting a room,
when he first saw my mother. Both her parent were killed by a
sickness. My mother was younger and stronger and survived. She
took over their plantation. Sitting in the sunlight on the
veranda, the bright rays lighting her hair, she was a vision so
beautiful, that at first my father could not believe his eyes.
It was love at first sight. They held each other in the
moonlight, kissing and touching, dancing until morning.
Jack Mickler
(voice)
I thought you said that your mother was
standing in the sunlight?
Don Juan
That's my father's story. My mother says
it was at night. They were married the next week. My father took
the name Don Antonio, and became El Patroni, running the coffee
plantation. Their love was like a perfect prayer. Even God could
not deny it. I was born exactly nine months later.
Marilyn
Mickler
So I sad, to him, "Let me just see if I
understand this. You have been exploring our car for six days
now, and you've still got absolutely no idea what's wrong with
it. Why the radiator keeps running out of fluid. So this means
we get the car back just as broken as when we brought it in,
except now you want us to pay you four-hundred and thirty
dollars for the time it took you not to figure out what's
wring." You know what he said to me? "We can keep looking, if
you want, Mrs Mickler, but it's sixty-five dollars an hour."
Jack. Jack.
Jack
Mickler
Oh. Well, pay... pay the guy, I don't
know.
Marilyn
Mickler
Pay it?! Jack. Where were you just
now?
Jack
Mickler
Down Mexico. Paul.
Paul
Showalter
Oh, Jack, I was looking for...
Jack
Mickler
A little spring-time.
Paul
Showalter
What... this... for me?
Jack
Mickler
Excuse me, nurse.
Paul
Showalter
You're giving me tulips?
Jack
Mickler
Grace, I'm sorry.
Paul
Showalter
Jack, why are you...
Jack
Mickler
There you go. I want to talk to you
about the kid.
Paul
Showalter
What's the occasion for...
Jack
Mickler
Listen, the hell of it. This kid is
fantastico.
Paul
Showalter
Well, I'm glad he's meeting your
expectations.
Jack
Mickler
And, he...
Paul
Showalter
Jack, there's something I want to
discuss with you.
Jack
Mickler
I know you do. Let me, let me tell you
what he did.
Paul
Showalter
Good.
Jack
Mickler
This morning...
Paul
Showalter
Please, wait, wait, Jack. When to you
intend to start Don Juan on medication? He's been here two
days.
Jack
Mickler
Ah.
Paul
Showalter
You do intend to give him
medication?
Jack
Mickler
Well, I don't know.
Paul
Showalter
Wait, wait, he's a delusional patient.
Meds.
Jack
Mickler
If I give him medication, Paul, I'm
never going to get into this, this world that he's in, and it's
a wonderful world. And I, I...
Paul
Showalter
Okay. No meds.
Jack
Mickler
Okay.
Paul
Showalter
Temporarily.
Jack
Mickler
Thank you.
Paul
Showalter
If you do one thing for me.
Jack
Mickler
What's that?
Paul
Showalter
Well, right now, er, er, Don Juan is
having a distracting influence on the female staff. I'll bet
he's a union. I mean officially, in his hacienda, there are more
nurses on valium than patients.
Jack
Mickler
Right, I'll do...
Paul
Showalter
Can you do something about that?
Jack
Mickler
Yes, I took care of it, my dear man,
don't worry about it.
Rocco
Hey, man time for your shrink.
Don Juan
Who are you?
Rocco
I'm your new nurse, Mr Compton, but you
can call me Rocco, Casanova.
Don Juan
I am not Casanova. I am Don Juan.
Rocco
Yeah, right. Come on, man.
Jack
Mickler
Come in.
Rocco
Doc, Don Juan.
Jack
Mickler
Thank you. Well, I've got a real treat
for you today.
Don Juan
Here are her nipples, and here's her
pubis. Her lover is kissing the contours of her bottom, just
where it folds onto her upper thighs.
Jack
Mickler
Why don't we move on to something
else?
Don Juan
What do you have in mind, Don
Octavio?
Jack
Mickler
Why don't we talk about... who I am?
Don Juan
Yes, I know who you are.
Jack
Mickler
Who am I?
Don Juan
You're Don Octavio de Florez, the uncle
of Don Francisco de Silva.
Jack
Mickler
And where are we, here?
Don Juan
Well, I, I haven't seen a deed, but I
assume that this villa is yours.
Jack
Mickler
What would you say to someone that, erm,
that said to you, this is a psychiatric hospital, and that
you're a patient here, and that I am your psychiatrist?
Don Juan
I would say that he has a rather limited
and uncreative way of looking at the situation. Look, you want
to know if I understand that this is a mental hospital? Yes, I
understand that. But, then how can I say that you are Don
Octavio and I am a guest at your villa, correct?
Jack
Mickler
Yeah.
Don Juan
By seeing beyond what is visible to the
eye. Now, there are those, of course, who do not share my
perceptions, it's true. When I say that all my women are
dazzling beauties, they object... the nose of this one is too
large, the, the hips of another they are too wide perhaps, the
breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women
for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and
perfect... because I am not limited by my eyesight. Women react
to me the way that they do, Don Octavio, because they sense that
I search out the beauty that dwells within them until... it
overwhelms everything else. And they cannot avoid their desire,
to release that beauty and envelop me in it. So, to answer your
question... I see as clear as day that this, great edifice in
which we find ourselves, is your villa, it is your home. And as
for you, Don Octavio de Florez, you are a great lover like
myself. Even though you may have lost your way... and your
accent. Shall I continue?
Jack
Mickler
Yeah.
Don Juan
Very well. Back to Mexico.
Don Juan
(voice)
My mother, God bless her, does not give
up easily. When I was sixteen, she made one last attempt to
instil Christian values in me, by finding me a tutor. My
mother's judgement left something to be desired. Dona Julia was
twenty-three and married. The faithful and devoted wife of Don
Alfonzo, a man of fifty. It was no secret that Dona Julia would
have been much better served by two men of twenty-five.
Dona Julia
...the body and in the spirit, which,
were God's.
Don Juan
(voice)
My feelings consumed me day and night. I
felt within me a torment, a burning wound, a yearning, combined
with the most indescribably bliss. But what was it?
Jack Mickler
(voice)
And, er, you had no idea what it
was?
Don Juan
(voice)
Well, I had an idea, but... nothing
definite. My father, understanding that manhood was nearly upon
me, began to teach me how to use my sword.
Jack Mickler
(voice)
So there was a lot of sword fighting
going on when you were growing up?
Don Juan
(voice)
Well, it was a small and isolated town,
that resisted modern technology. I noticed that the smile on
Dona Julia's face was gone, it had been replaced with a sadness
even sweeter than the smile. I sensed that Dona Julia was having
a struggle within her, and my own situation was becoming no less
difficult. I could only think of Dona Julia. To keep myself from
going mad, I turned into a metaphysician. I considered the
meaning of truth, and being, and God. I thought of the
time-table for the sun's demise, and then I thought of Dona
Julia's eyes...
Dona Julia
I never will consent. I never will
consent. I never will consent.
Jack
Mickler
But somehow she consented.
Don Juan
(voice)
She did. Then suddenly I was hit with a
revelation, the way a woman's body is made, the way a man's body
responds to it... the fire burning in my loins... the intense
desire to merge as one... it all came together in one brilliant
flash.
Don Juan
There are only four questions of value
in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit
made? What is worth living for? And what is worth dying for? The
answer to each is the same... only love. Dona Julia, was my
first love. Well, I see our time is up.
Jack
Mickler
Er, the mask... Obsessive compulsive
disorder, with erotomatic features. Confirm delusional disorder.
Confirm depression with obsessional features. Possible
hysterical personality.
Marilyn
Mickler
I take it you want to go upstairs?
Jack
Mickler
What gives you that idea?
Marilyn
Mickler
Why are you listening to opera? You hate
opera.
Jack
Mickler
You have very, very beautiful eyes. Come
here.
Marilyn
Mickler
Well, you know, I have to go upstairs
and, er, take my calcium so my bones don't break into little
pieces, my aspirin so my heart doesn't clog up, my Metamucil so
I don't get colon cancer, and of course my oestrogen, to
convince my body that I'm still twenty-three.
Jack
Mickler
Come here. What the hell are you doing
in there?
Marilyn
Mickler
(Mumbled reply). Rain check?
Jack
Mickler
No, no. I've been thinking about our
adolescence, you know there, there isn't any transitional
battleground left for us any more. I just feel as though we
surrendered our lives to... the momentum of mediocrity. I mean,
what happened to all the celestial fire that used to light our
way?
Marilyn
Mickler
Oh, Jack, no, listen honey... you know
those fires were a lot of trouble. They caused a lot of trouble.
I mean, fires are really hard to control, they flare up, they
cause, they burn a whole lot of energy... and then they suddenly
die.
Jack
Mickler
I wanna tell you something, that's
bullshit, because all their...
Marilyn
Mickler
No, it's not.
Jack
Mickler
Yes, it is.
Marilyn
Mickler
No, it's not bullshit, a good steady
warm glow, you know, that's, that does the trick.
Jack
Mickler
No.
Marilyn
Mickler
Over the long run, it...
Jack
Mickler
No, fire, no heat... no heat, no life.
That's, that's the equation.
Marilyn
Mickler
No, no, Jack. May I assume that the
upshot of all this is that you will not be easing gracefully
into retirement?
Jack
Mickler
You're God damn right, baby. Er, what am
I gonna retire from? Life? Listen, we haven't started yet. This
is a twelve rounder, and this is the third round, and you and I
are gonna go outta here like Haley's comet.
Marilyn
Mickler
Jack.
Jack
Mickler
I can't...
Marilyn
Mickler
Listen to me, what is going on? You've
been funny lately, you... Com eon, you gotta tell me, Jack.
Jack
Mickler
It's no secret. I don't know. I, I, I've
been feeling... I've been treating this kid, lately. He thinks
he's Don Juan and he's got a costume. He's got a sword and a
mask and, er...
Marilyn
Mickler
And so who is he really?
Jack
Mickler
I don't know. But he's erm, he's getting
to me. God damn, you're a great broad really.
Marilyn
Mickler
I know.
Jack
Mickler
Uh-oh. This is gonna be a good one. Oh,
Jesus.
Marilyn
Mickler
Ouch!
Jack
Mickler
Not there, honey.
Marilyn
Mickler
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
Jack
Mickler
Ouch!
Marilyn
Mickler
Oh, sorry.
Jack
Mickler
Damn. What is that, your hair comb?
Marilyn
Mickler
Ow! Ow!
Jack
Mickler
Now wait a minute, I'm the one that's
injured here.
Don Juan
(voice)
At every instant we fell into each
other's arms. Time stopped for those four months. There was
neither day nor night. Just my love and hers. As for Don
Alfonso, he spent so much time away handling the details of his
trading business, that I was practically able to live in Dona
Julia's house. I truly believed I had found everlasting
paradise. Until one night...
Don Alfonso
Dona Julia! My sweet bird! Where is he?
Where have you hidden him?
Dona Julia
For God's sake, Don Alfonso. What sort
of drunken fit has seized you? How dare you suspect me! Me, who
the thought of infidelity would surely kill? Oh, yes, search and
search and search. Heap insult on insult, you ungrateful,
perjurous, barbarous man. Are you quite satisfied now?
Don Alfonso
I will kill this man. My sword, where is
my sword?
Don Juan
He's going to kill me. He's going to
kill me.
Dona Julia
Quick, go out the garden gate. Oh!
Don Alfonso
I will kill you.
Don Juan
(voice)
It was the last I was ever to see of my
tutor, the lovely Dona Julia. In great remorse she left that
night and was never to be heard of again. Son Alfonso was
humiliated that he had been cuckold by a sixteen year old boy.
So to retaliate, he announced publicly that he and my mother had
been having an affair for many years. It was, of course, a
bald-faced and terrible lie. My father was quick to defend my
mother's virtue. I have no doubt, my father would have easily
prevailed, were it not for one fatal mistake... he looked up at
my mother's eyes, and it was, too late.
Dona Inez
Don Juan! Oh, God, I will lose them
both!
Don Juan
You have killed my father, now you must
kill me. Forgive me, father.
Don Antonio
I'll always forgive you. You are my
son.
Don Juan
(voice)
And so it was that my father, the great
swordsman, Don Antonio, died in my mother's arms and so her
tears fell upon him.
Don Juan
That evening, to hide my shame for ever,
I placed the mask upon my face, and vowed never to remove it in
the presence of another. My father left me too soon, Don
Octavio. I never had the chance to...
Jack
Mickler
Oh, great.
Delivery
Man
Hi. You Doctor Mickler?
Jack
Mickler
That's right.
Delivery
Man
Sign here.
Jack
Mickler
Would you just hold that for a second?
Hello, dear.
Marilyn
Mickler
Jack? So, Jack... what's the
occasion?
Waiter
Excuse me, ma'am.
Jack
Mickler
You're the occasion.
Marilyn
Mickler
Oh, really, Jack. I mean, are you sure
there's no, er... Oh, oh. Beautiful.
Woman
Excuse me, ma'am.
Marilyn
Mickler
Jack.
Don Juan
Buenos Dias, el Capitan.
Gloria
Buenos Dias, el Capitan.
Paul
Showalter
Where's Rocco?
Don Juan
Ah, Rocco, he has moved to Madrid.
Paul
Showalter
Madrid?
Don Juan
Si.
Paul
Showalter
Spain?
Don Juan
Si.
Jack
Mickler
Then, he feels so guilty, he feels so
overcome with shame, that he puts on this mask and he vows never
to take his mask off again as long as he lives. Now, is that a
perfect myth or not?
Paul
Showalter
It's wonderful. It's a wonderful story.
You know, Jack, this kid, this kid is remarkable, you're right.
And it is, it's like a Greek myth. It's exactly like a Greek
myth. The son becomes potent, sexually active, leads to the
destruction of his father, who he replaces as of course he must,
he must someday to become a man. But the guilt of replacing the
man who, loved him and gave him life, it's too great. It's
enormous. It's just... So he must hide it by wearing a mask.
It's time to put the kid on meds, Jack.
Jack
Mickler
You want to drive this kid nuts? Fill
him full of anti-psychotic chemicals, and in forty-eight hours
you're gonna have a nut-case that you are not ever gonna forget
for the rest of your life.
Paul
Showalter
I'm telling you, Jack. He is a
schizophrenic. He is not Don Juan.
Jack
Mickler
How do you know he's not Don Juan? I've
been with the kid, I know...
Paul
Showalter
Has he ever told you, Jack, in any of
his sessions, that he's been living with his grandmother in
Queens? Has he ever told you?
Jack
Mickler
We did... I... I...
Paul
Showalter
Has he mentioned it to you?
Jack
Mickler
Details like that, it's...
Paul
Showalter
I got a call about an hour ago from the
department. Now, please, Jack, put the boy on medication.
Jack
Mickler
Paul, you don't...
Paul
Showalter
Jack!
Jack
Mickler
...understand...
Paul
Showalter
Please! Take it easy, he is your
patient. You got five, Jack. You got five days.
Jack
Mickler
I am pissed off at you.
Paul
Showalter
Now, don't forget, we're barbequing
Saturday.
Jack
Mickler
Really pissed off.
Grandmother
Yes?
Jack
Mickler
Er, Mrs De Marco?
Grandmother
Hello?
Jack
Mickler
Yes, this is Doctor Mickler. You
remember we spoke on the phone about your grandson, I wanted to
have a...
Grandmother
Dona Ana, she's all he talks about. He
waits for the mailman every day like he's delivering canolli.
See, the boy's convinced he's found his one true love. He's
worse than his father, Tony, the dance-king of Astoria.
Jack
Mickler
This is his father?
Grandmother
Yeah.
Jack
Mickler
He won a prize for dancing?
Grandmother
You never heard of him?
Jack
Mickler
Did his father sell pharmaceuticals?
Grandmother
What? Tony? Oh, Tony couldn't sell a
boat to a drowning man. No, he worked for a dry-cleaning
concern. He did drapes, and, and sofas.
Jack
Mickler
Is his father still alive?
Grandmother
Oh, no. Didn't Gerry tell you anything?
Tony died in, in, in a terrible car crash. It was five years
ago.
Jack
Mickler
In Mexico?
Grandmother
In Phoenix.
Jack
Mickler
They never lived in Mexico?
Grandmother
No, never.
Jack
Mickler
Well, where is his mother now?
Grandmother
Oh, I couldn't tell ya, we were never
what you might call close.
Jack
Mickler
Mrs De Marco, how often did you see your
grandson when he was, er, growing up?
Grandmother
Only once. Gerry was six.
Jack
Mickler
Do you mean that that's the only time
you saw Gerry in your entire life?
Grandmother
Up till, till three months ago. I, er...
I opened the door... and there was Zorro.
Jack
Mickler
I've just seen your grandmother. She's
got the bizarre impression that you're name is, um, Gerald De
Marco. You grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, and that your father
died in a car crash.
Don Juan
Interesting fantasy. But I suppose if it
makes her happy... it is harmless enough.
Jack
Mickler
She told me something else. She told me
that your father worked in a dry-cleaning establishment.
Don Juan
Oh, look, you want me to tell you some
crazy story like my grandmother, so you will think I'm sane. If
that is what it takes for me to get out of this place, I will be
happy to do it. But there is a rumour that you are supposed to
be a psychiatrist...
Jack
Mickler
I've heard that rumour too.
Don Juan
Well, can you not tell when you meet a
woman who's completely insane?
Jack
Mickler
Are you saying that your grandmother
made this all up?
Don Juan
In so many words, yes. She hated my
mother, but it's not unusual, because my grandmother hated
everybody. So we stayed as far away from her as possible.
Jack
Mickler
In Phoenix, Arizona.
Don Juan
In Mexico.
Jack
Mickler
Er, you mean, you never lived in
Phoenix, Arizona?
Don Juan
No, I never lived in Phoenix,
Arizona.
Jack
Mickler
What about your father's death?
Don Juan
I have told you how my father died, Don
Octavio.
Jack
Mickler
Her name is... I'm not going to take it
away from you. I just want to point out her name is Chelsea
Stokeler, it says it right there.
Don Juan
They never use their real names. She is
really my Dona Ana. She's trying to teach me a lesson.
Jack
Mickler
You know I... I once treated a young
man, about your age, and, er, he fell in love, oddly enough
with, er, a girl on a poster. And he was very insecure about
women. And, er, he tried to contact her, oh, he must have called
the magazine a hundred times. Till finally, someone at the
magazine took pity on him and gave him her number. So he called
her, and they had a one minute conversation, and she let him
know, she never wanted to speak to him again.
Don Juan
And then what happened?
Jack
Mickler
What happened next? He tried to kill
himself, is what happened.
Don Juan
Dona Ana is real, Don Octavio. Would you
like to hear about her?
Jack
Mickler
I suppose so.
Don Juan
(voice)
Shortly after the death of my father, my
mother decided that it would be best to send me to Cadiz. As
though a voyage at sea would purify me. She, herself had
determined to take her vows at the Convent of Santa Maria, where
she is a nun to this day. I was being sent forth like a dove of
promise. Of, course, what my mother never knew was that the ship
was run by scoundrels. Instead of Cadiz, they set sail for an
obscure Arabian Sultanate, where all the passengers were
immediately sold into slavery.
Jack
Mickler
You were sold into slavery? In a
Sultan's kingdom?
Don Juan
That's correct. I was purchased by one
of the four wives of a Sultan, and led off by her eunuch. Though
I had no idea why I was made to dress as a female, my mask had
been replaced by a mask of another sort, and so I supposed I was
still keeping the vow I made to hide my face. The Sultan had a
harem of fifteen-hundred young women, so the demands he placed
on his wives were relatively minor. I was presented to the
Sultana. I still did not know why I was required to be in
drag.
Sultana
Gulbeyaz
You may rise. And you may go. You may
stay.
Don Juan
(voice)
Slowly I began to develop a theory why I
had been brought to the Sultana. But, I still loved Dona
Julia.
Don Juan
I am sorry, I love another.
Sultana
Gulbeyaz
Undress!
Don Juan
Kill me if you must, I am prepared to
die, for I cannot go on living, knowing that I defiled the
memory of the woman, who brought my manhood alive, and made it
sing.
Sultana
Gulbeyaz
It sings?
Don Juan
(voice)
I was prepared to lose my life, rather
than debase my love. How could I be unfaithful to my dear Dona
Julia, who had nearly given up her life to love me? How could I
sleep with another woman after giving myself, body and soul, to
sweet Dona Julia? How could I forsake the purity of love, I had
with my flower, Dona Julia? Actually, I was surprised at how
easily the past can be overcome.
Don Juan
You know, my friend, until this
afternoon I had always believed that a man could love only one
woman. I have been badly misled. It is absolutely incredible to
me that, just a few hours ago, Dona Julia was the only woman who
existed. And now, now there is the magnificent Sultana Gulbeyaz.
What a glorious body, breasts...
Baba
Will you please...
Don Juan
Breasts...
Baba
Shut up.
Don Juan
(voice)
Suddenly I was struck by the danger of
my situation. I prayed they had found a place to hide me where I
wouldn't be discovered by the Sultan. As fortune would have it,
their solution was a brilliant one. It was God's canvas, in all
its natural beauty. For the next two years, my days were spent
with the Sultana...
Jack
Mickler
And your nights?
Don Juan
(voice)
My nights were spent with the
fifteen-hundred young women of the Sultan's harem.
Sultana
Gulbeyaz
Come. Come to me my little cockatoo.
Don Juan
(voice)
At the end of two years, I noticed that
I didn't have the same enthusiasm as before.
Baba
This could be a problem.
Sultan
You may rise, my little dove. I want her
in my chambers.
Don Juan
(voice)
Oh well, all good things must come to an
end. Gulbeyaz, sensing the danger to us both, arranged for me to
depart within the hour. I had learned to love in a thousand
ways. Each one a lesson in the soul of a woman. I knew I would
miss every one of them. They stole my spirit and infused me with
joy like a May day breaking.
Jack
Mickler
I would, er, I would like to hear this
in complete detail, but there's something that I must do now.
So, I, I was wondering if we could continue this tomorrow?
Don Juan
Of course.
Jack
Mickler
Good. Thank you.
Don Juan
Hasta Manyana.
Marilyn
Mickler
You're home early.
Jack
Mickler
How would you feel about, er, coming
upstairs?
Marilyn
Mickler
Go. Oh!
Jack
Mickler
Okay, what do you think?
Marilyn
Mickler
Over here now.
Jack
Mickler
(Muffled)
Marilyn
Mickler
Oh, what happened?
Jack
Mickler
You're no good at all.
Marilyn
Mickler
No, I am too good, I got three, look. I
got three.
Jack
Mickler
Well...
Marilyn
Mickler
Yeah, okay. When is it my turn? Yeah,
you got five, well you're better than me.
Jack
Mickler
You get it?
Marilyn
Mickler
Yes!
Woman
Doctor
Okay, last but not least, the moment
we've all been waiting for... Don Juan De Marco.
Jack
Mickler
Well, er, in respect of that, I wanna
say that, er, I've got a meeting with the kid, later on today.
And I think that it might very well be the definitive
meeting.
Paul
Showalter
Jack. Jack, this isn't a treatment
conference. This is a disposition conference. We have to know
what to do with this kid on Monday when his ten day paper
expires. Do we ask the judge to commit him? Do we let him go?
What?
Jack
Mickler
Er, I, I don't know. I... and I won't
know until I have the meeting with the kid.
Paul
Showalter
Right. Jack, he's a suicidal
patient.
Jack
Mickler
He's not suicidal! It was a call for
help, if it was anything.
Paul
Showalter
You're not suggesting that we let him
go, are you?
Jack
Mickler
No, I'm not suggesting that.
Paul
Showalter
All right. Then obviously, first thing
on Monday we have to get the judge over here for a hearing.
Also, on Monday, we're gonna have to transfer him to another
therapist, because that's your last day, Jack. Bill.
Bill
Dunsmore
Huh?
Paul
Showalter
You think you're up to it?
Bill
Dunsmore
Yeah, if he's on medication I could.
Paul
Showalter
Jack? He'll be on medication.
Jack
Mickler
All right. Yeah, I'll give him, uh, I
don't know, a hundred milligrams of Novak QID. And, er, Bill can
begin to decrease it, once his anxiety lessens about being
attacked by your patient.
Bill
Dunsmore
Could, could you tell him, could you
tell him to stop. I, I mean...
Woman
Doctor
And if he refuses, do we restrain him
and give it to him by injection?
Jack
Mickler
I'll get him to take the medication, for
Christ's sake. I don't know what's the big concern here. He
hasn't been assaulted. Anyway, I've gotta go.
Paul
Showalter
No, no. There's one other piece of
business. Okay! We're ready!
All ?
For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a
jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody
can deny.
Jack
Mickler
Today is the first day of the rest of
your life. Come in.
Dona Inez
I am Dona Inez. The mother of Don Juan
De Marco. May I come in, Don Octavio?
Jack
Mickler
Ah, please.
Dona Inez
I came as soon as the Arch Diocese in
Mexico City told me that my son had called them. What exactly is
wrong with him?
Jack
Mickler
Well... I am... I am very grateful,
sister, that you've come, at this strange moment in time.
Because there is so much crucial information that I need in
order to help your son.
Dona Inez
How can I be of help?
Jack
Mickler
For instance, is it a fact that your son
grew up with you and your husband in Mexico in a little small
town?
Dona Inez
San Louis Quatsa Qualcos. It's not very
far from Esuca de Mata Morras, have you heard of it? Not many
have, It's very small.
Jack
Mickler
You know, in order to help your son, I,
I have to have some information. I need to know about Don
Alfonso, about his father, Don, Don Antonio, and about your
relationship with both of them.
Dona Inez
I think it would be best if you would
discuss these matters directly with my son. My vows to God do
not allow me to talk... about certain aspects of my past.
Jack
Mickler
Er, I, I don't think, sister, that I'm
making myself clear. I've been to see your son's grandmother...
and she tells me that neither your nor your son have ever lived
in Mexico. She said that you met Tony in Queens, New York, and
till recently she said she only saw her grandson once in her
life, when she was in Phoenix, Arizona. She also said that, er,
five years ago, that, er, your husband died in a car crash. Now,
in this... I'm sorry, but you must understand, sister, that I
need to know the truth.
Dona Inez
The truth is inside you, Don Octavio. I
cannot help you find that.
Don Juan
Isn't she exactly as I described her,
Don Octavio?
Jack
Mickler
Yeah. Exactly.
Dun Juan
Dona Julia has become a nun at the same
convent.
Jack
Mickler
So it seems.
Don Juan
I told my mother she could go back
today, but I will miss her. She really has a way of putting me
in touch with what's real.
Jack
Mickler
Erm, why are you so certain, that your
mother was not having an affair with Don Alfonso?
Don Juan
My mother was not having an affair!
Jack
Mickler
Well, I think you, you can understand
how the thought might have occurred to me. When you told me how
your father died, it's never been clear to me what, er, what
your mother meant when she cried out, "I will lose both of
them." Did she mean, both her husband and her son? Or both of
her lovers?
Don Juan
My mother, was not having an affair!
Jack
Mickler
Do you understand why it's
necessary?
Don Juan
Shut up! You think I don't know what's
going on with you, Don Octavio? But I do, you need me... for a
transfusion, because your own blood has turned to dust and
clogged your heart. Your need for reality, your need for a world
where love is flawed, will continue to choke your veins until
all the life in you is gone. Well, my perfect world is no less
real than yours, Don Octavio. It is only in my world, that you
can breathe, isn't it? Isn't it?
Jack
Mickler
Yeah. You're right, my, er, my world is,
not perfect.
Don Juan
What is this thing that happens with
age? Why does everyone want to pervert love and, suck it bone
dry of all its glory? Why do you bother to call it love
anymore?
Jack
Mickler
This'll be our, our last session. I'm,
er, retiring on Monday.
Don Juan
Then I will tell you about Dona Ana. And
you will decide if I should be set free. On the second day,
after I left the Sultana, our ship was caught in a
typhoon...
Don Juan
(voice)
I alone survived. After days drifting at
sea, I found myself on the island of Eros. She was seventeen,
and nature's pride, fresh and fair, and unacquainted with the
miracle of physical love. Her beauty was not made of shapes and
forms, but shined from within like a star. There are those who
do not believe that a single soul, born in heaven, can split
into twin spirits and shoot like falling stars to earth. Where
over oceans and continents, their magnetic forces will finally
unite them back into one. But how else do you explain love at
first sight? We were convinced that there was no other life
beneath the sky but ours. We believed that we would never
die.
Dona Ana
You must promise me, that we will be
together for all time. That we will live here on this beach,
always. And that, should circumstance ever separate us, it is
here we will come, to wait all eternity, for the other to
return.
Don Juan
I love you.
Dona Ana
Promise me.
Don Juan
I promise.
Don Juan
(voice)
One day, I asked her to be mine.
Don Juan
I love you too much. But I cannot love
you any less.
Dona Ana
It's of no great consequence, but, will
you be wearing your mask throughout our lives together?
Don Juan
I have sworn to do so.
Dona Ana
Then, I ask only that you tell me what
has led you to make such a vow.
Don Juan
(voice)
I related the sad tale of my Dona Julia,
never guessing for a moment that my sweet Dona Ana believed that
I had saved myself for her, as she had for me.
Dona Ana
Very well, my love. I will accept that I
am not the first if you will tell me, with the same honesty, how
many others, there have been.
Don Juan
(voice)
This would have been a very good time
for me to lie, but truth is a terrible habit.
Don Juan
Including you, there have been, exactly,
one thousand-five-hundred and two.
Don Juan
(voice)
I could see, that this was a sound
substantially greater than the one she had in her mind, and not
easy for her to assimilate, try as she might. As her pain struck
at my heart like a dagger, I begged to be forgiven. I removed my
mask as a gesture of remorse, but it was to no avail. To hide
her humiliation, she took of the mask and left forever. And so
my adventures came to an end, and with them, the chance that one
day, like my father... I would die in the arms of the woman I
loved.
Don Juan
Who am I?
Jack
Mickler
Sit down. You, are Don Juan De Marco,
the greatest lover the world has ever known.
Don Juan
And you, my friend, who are you?
Jack
Mickler
Who am I? I am Don Octavio de Florez.
Married to the beautiful Dona Lucita, the light of my life. And
you, my friend, you have seen through all of my masks.
Chemist
Here's your order, Doctor.
Jack
Mickler
Thank you.
Don Juan
You said that you believed, Don
Octavio.
Jack
Mickler
I believe that you are Don Juan, but
there are a lot of people who don't.
Don Juan
Then I will do as you ask, my
friend.
Jack
Mickler
Vamoose.
Marilyn
Mickler
You're retiring on Monday, what are we
gonna do?
Jack
Mickler
We're gonna get airborne, kid, I'll tell
you that.
Marilyn
Mickler
I'm trying to tell you something. I like
it here, I like my garden...
Jack
Mickler
We need to be a flight of eagles.
Marilyn
Mickler
I don't see myself in that picture.
Jack
Mickler
Oh, what's the matter with you? What are
you talking about?
Marilyn
Mickler
I don't know.
Jack
Mickler
I need to find out who you are.
Marilyn
Mickler
Jack, you know who I am. Who's brought
you coffee for the last thirty-three years?
Jack
Mickler
Listen, I know a lot about dirty coffee
cups and I know a lot of facts. But I need to know, all about
you.
Marilyn
Mickler
What do you wanna know?
Jack
Mickler
I wanna know... what your hopes, and
your dreams are. They got lost along the way, while I was
thinking about myself. What's so funny?
Marilyn
Mickler
I thought you'd never ask.
Security
Guard
Hey, Doc. Morning!
Judge
Do you understand why you're here, young
man? Okay, then. I'd like for you to tell me a little about
yourself. Where you grew up. What made you want to kill
yourself. How you feel now.
Don Juan
I was born in... in Queens. Me and my
parents moved to, er, Phoenix when I was a kid. I hated it. When
I was sixteen, my father was, er, killed in a car accident just
outside of town. My mother, she'd been having these affairs,
and, my father knew. Anyway, she felt so guilty she decided to
become a nun. So within three weeks of my father's death she
was... in a convent, somewhere in Mexico. And there I was... I
had nowhere to go, I didn't know what to do. So, one day I was,
um, looking at this magazine, and there was a centrefold, and I,
I knew she wouldn't go for me the way that I was, you know, so
I, deci... I'd been reading a book, this book, and er, I decided
to become Don Juan. So, I called up the magazine. They wouldn't
help me, they wouldn't give me any information, so... I was
about to give up, and... one day I reached this woman who worked
there, I think she was a temp, or something, but... The woman
took pity on me and she gave me the girl's number. I called her
up. I said that we were meant to be together and... she called
me a creep and then she hung up. I just decided that my life was
over, so I... was gonna kill myself. Or at least I was gonna
make people believe that I would kill myself so that I could get
some attention or something. I never really had any intention
of... killing myself.
Judge
Thank you. This has been very helpful.
Someone will show you back to your room now.
Don Juan
Thank you.
Jack
Mickler
Through there.
Judge
Doctors... this seems like a perfectly
normal kid to me. I have a couple of centre-fold fantasies
myself, and I'm certainly not going to commit him to a mental
institution for his.
Paul
Showalter
Er, your honour, I, I, I, I, think his
behaviour is...
Judge
Let him go.
Paul
Showalter
Er, your honour, I have to
recommend...
Jack
Mickler
Thank you. As his doctor I concur with
your views and I thank you. I will call you later, and thank God
for medication.
Paul
Showalter
Yes, all right, Jack. Have, have a
wonderful vacation.
Jack
Mickler
Goodbye, Bill.
Woman
Doctor
Goodbye.
Paul
Showalter
Your honour, I think the boy's...
Woman
Doctor
Now, listen, your honour... Doctor!
Paul
Showalter
Please, as head of the hospital, let me
speak.
Jack
Mickler
My name is Don Octavio de Florez, I am
the world's greatest psychiatrist. I have cured over a thousand
patients, and their faces linger in my memory like summer days.
But none more so than Don Juan De Marco. And so it was not so
insane that we all found ourselves on an aeroplane flying to the
island of Eros. It was like a garden before the fall. Everything
seemed possible. And how does our fable end? His Dona Ana, his
centre-fold... was she waiting all eternity on the beach for him
to return, as they had promised each other? Why not? I must
report, that the last patient I ever treated... the great lover,
Don Juan De Marco, suffered from a romanticism which was
completely incurable. And even worse, contagious...
THE
END
