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Rango, Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Helena Bonham Carter

TO INDEX SCRIPTS

.....

ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO

SCRIPT – DIALOGUE TRANSCRIPT

Transcript written by Angela Sugden, Spanish text parts added/corrected by varguitas

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Written by: Robert Rodriguez

With: Antonio Banderas, Johnny Depp, Salma Hayek, Mickey Rourke, Eva Mendes, Danny Trejo, Enrique Iglesias, Marco Leonardi, Cheech Marin, Ruben Blades, Willem Dafoe

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sands

I never heard of him.

Belini

Who?

Sands

The man you recommended.

Belini

The guitar fighter? Wiped out a couple of towns single-handedly. Real nut. You probably heard of him, you just didn't know it was him they were talking about. You should meet him.

Waitress

Cochinita pibil?

Sands

Me, me, that's me.

Waitress

Si, perdón señor. (Yes, sorry sir)

Belini

Just as long as I'm not the guy has to make the introduction. Okay? Were you here in Mexico during the Barillo Cartel massacre?

Sands

No.

Belini

That's when I first heard about him. He was a legend. They used to say he was the biggest Mexican they'd ever seen. Total bullshit. He was five-nine, five-ten tops. It's no record, but bigger than most of us. But Marquez. . . that's a different story. Marquez. . . Marquez. . . General Marquez. Powerful, dangerous. Marquez he. . . he really had it in for this Mariachi, see. They call him Mariachi because he used to carry this guitar.

Sands

A guitar?

Belini

Believe me, he really knew how to play it, too. Now, these stories were well-travelled. They might have picked up some embellishments along the way, you know. Just read between the lines. Now, he may not have been the biggest Mexican ever. . .

Elle

. . . but she, was as deadly as she was beautiful.

Sands

There's a girl?

Belini

Oh, yeah. There's a girl. When he'd've run out of ammo, she'd take over. The most drop-dead gorgeous woman you'll ever see. That's where all the trouble began. She was with Marquez, and when Marquez saw that she was with the Mariachi. . . Well, he went crazy. He hunted him down, and fought Mariachi to the death, and then she. . . put a bullet in his heart. Only, he didn't die. I don't know what happened after that, but. . .

Sands

Would you like some?

Belini

No. Maybe Marquez caught up with him, or the cartels. But like I said, the man is a, a myth, a legend. And if he's still living, he's the one you want.

Sands

Well. . . That is truly unbelievable.

Belini

I'm not big on telling stories. Where's the money you owe me? That's the reason I'm here.

Sands

I couldn't find a briefcase small enough, for um, ten thousand dollars in cash.

Belini

It'll do.

Sands

Just for my own edification, I offered you fifty, why'd you say no?

Belini

I'm not a greedy man. Not looking to get rich quick. Besides, fifty thousand is a lot for what you wanted me to find out, you know. May have just as well put a bullet in my head as cough it up, right? But ten. . . ten thousand is er, civilised. Ten is something we both can live with.

Sands

Ten might still be too much.

Belini

You'd kill me over ten thousand dollars? You wouldn't dare. You wouldn't dare.

Sands

Yes I would.

Guitar maker 1

Me podría hacer el honor de tocarla? (Would you make me the honor to play it?)

Elle

Deberías aprender a tocarla tú, Alvaro. (You should learn to play it by yourself Alvaro)

Guitar maker 1

Para eso esta usted (That's the reason why you are here)

Guitar maker 2

Tranquilo (Be calm)

Cucuy

Escuche que este es un pueblo de pistoleros (I hear this is a town of shooters)

Guitar maker 1

Aquí solo hacemos guitarras señor, usted las puede ver. (Here we only make guitars sir, you can see them)

Cucuy

Mariachi.

Guitar maker 1

No se de que me habla señor. (I don't know what you are talking about sir)

Cucuy

Elle.

Guitar maker 1

No se de que me habla señor. (I don't know what you are talking about sir)

Cucuy

Me da mucho gusto estar en tu presencia, pero hay alguien mÃ¡s que te quiere conocer. (I am so glad to be in your presence, but there is someone else who wants to meet you)

Guitar maker 2

No, la hizo especialmente para ti. (No, he made it especially for you)

Chambers

You know, if I was you, son, I'd turn around and go back right now. Go back to where I came from. Instead of selling my mind and my soul to these cocksuckers. You speak English? I didn't think so. Come on.

President (TV)

últimamente, mi familia y yo hemos recibido amenazas de muerte enviadas por el narcotrÃ¡fico, que amenaza con robarnos nuestra libertad, libertad que sÃ© que nuestro pueblo defenderÃ¡ hasta la muerte. (These days, my family and I have received threats of dead, sent by drug dealers, who are trying to steal our freedom, freedom that I know our people will defend with their life)

Chambers

I present to you Senor Brasco.

Barillo

Bienvenido (Welcome)

Sands

Did you order my pil-bil?

Cucuy

Ahí esta. (it is there)

Sands

Does it have a name?

Cucuy

They call him Elle. That means "the"

Sands

I know what it means, thank you. Alert the Barillo cartel, that Elle, has come out of hiding.

Cucuy

I don't think we should. . .

Sands

Are you a MexiCAN, or a MexiCAN'T?

Cucuy

I'm a MexiCAN.

Sands

Good. Then do as I say. Nice tune.

Elle

Something my brother taught me. I killed him.

Sands

Yes, I was privy to that information all ready. How charming. You know, Elle, if I may call you that. I have been doing a little snooping around, and it seems that the cartels, have quite a price on your head. I wouldn't want to be you. Tell me, is there anyone, who doesn't want you dead?

Elle

You tell me.

Sands

I need you to kill a man. Elle, you really must try this, because it's quite coki-bia. It is a slow roasted pork, nothing fancy, just happens to be my favourite. And I order it, with a tequila and lime, in every dive I go to in this country. And honestly, that is the best it's ever been, anywhere. In fact it's too good, it is so good that when I'm finished with it, I'll pay my cheque, walk straight into the kitchen, and shoot the cook. Because that's what I do. I restore the balance to this country. That is what I would like from you right now. To help me keep the balance by pulling the trigger.

Elle

Do you want me to shoot the cook?

Sands

NO. I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out back anyway. You, will kill Marquez. Do you remember General Marquez? He's being paid, by the Barillo cartel, to kill the president in an attempted coup d'etat.

Elle

Attempted?

Sands

Oh, no, no, no. the president will be killed, because he's that piece of good pork that needs to get balanced out. I say attempted, because we don't want Marquez taking power. I need you to put the hurting, so to speak, on Marquez, after he's killed the president. Savvy?

Elle

So why me?

Sands

Frankly, because you've got nothing to live for. And in a way you're already dead, and Marquez is the man who killed you. So. . . why not return the favour? Go to the church, meet with an associate of mine named SalomÃ© at three o'clock. And I will contact you afterwards, if we have a deal. Was I right? I guess not.

AFN boss

The last shipment of drugs that was seized at our border, have not been accounted for Sanchez. You are now off that assignment. Who wants to volunteer? Okay, you, Gomez, it's yours. With El Presidente's new campaign against the Barillo cartel, their activities are being pushed into the forefront. Large payments, deliveries, whispers of a political take-over. I need new point men. Strong and willing. This is the top priority of El Presidente. Who wants this? Primero, it's yours. Take your secondary person, a third if you have to. That's all. Dismissed.

AFN guy

Te voy a chingar el huevo izquierdo (I am going to cut you the left nut)

Primero

Tú estas con nosotros (You are with us)

President

Pueblo de CuliacÃ¡n, he venido a esta entidad para traerles a ustedes un mensaje de paz. Paz que en este momento se ve amenazada por un grupo de personajes que alteran nuestra vida nacional, personajes como Armando Barillo. Los invito a que unamos fuerzas para que estos personajes no alteren nuestra unidad y nuestra paz. (People of CuliacÃ¡n, I have come to this institution to bring you a message of peace. Peace that in this moment is threaten by a group of characters that disturb our national life, characters like Armando Barillo. I invite you to join forces with us to prevent this characters continue affecting our unity and peace.)

Aide

El Presidente, history teaches us, no matter how great your armies are, you will always need the favour of the inhabitants, to take possession of a province. How can you compete with a man like Barillo? He owns Culiacan.

President

He doesn't own its people.

Aide

Barillo has purchased hundreds of homes and ranches in the northern part of Culiacan. And then he has turned around and given these homes to the people. He's a folk hero to them.

President

He's also a mass murderer, and a drug king-pin. He's trying to make himself a martyr by drawing the people to his side. But, the people can see through that. Men like Barillo have stolen this country's soul. But my people will stand up for what is right.

Aide

I'm afraid they're no longer your people, sir.

President

Then I will die fighting. Are you with me?

Aide

To the death.

Elle

Besar tus labios quisiera... (Kiss your lips I want .. ) (singing)

Carolina

What's wrong?

Elle

Everything. This way. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Any suggestions, 'Miss why don't we get a room in the fifth floor so we can see the beautiful sunset'?

Carolina

Puta madre (Fuck)

Elle

Jump.

Carolina

No mames, cabrón. (Screw you)

Elle

Jump! Swing, swing, swing! Hold on!

Carolina

What do you mean, hold on?

Elle

Let go! Now!

Carolina

Give me that! Stop the bus! Stop the bus!

Elle

La promesa se va a romper, perdóname por lo que serÃ¡ de mi. (The promise is going to be broken, forgive me)

Priest

When was your last confession?

Elle

An hour ago.

Priest

And the name of your priest?

Elle

Sands.

Priest

Okay. You are expected to carry out your assignment, to the letter.

Elle

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I know.

Priest

Failure to appear in designated locations at assigned times results in forfeit of protection. Protection you will definitely need.

Elle

Yeah.

Priest

You will be paid. Coup d'etats, like elections, don't come cheap. So there's plenty of, dough floating around. There's more. You will be a free man. From Marquez, the cartels and even from the president. . . who isn't your biggest fan, let's, let's face it.

Elle

When do I begin?

Priest

Give me a moment.

Elle

Padre?

Man 1

It's a church, over here.

Elle

Sorry.

Man 2

Sssh.

Sands

Are you still standing?

Elle

Still.

Sands

Good. Well the Barillo cartel aren't the nicest of guys are they? However, you've passed the test. You're gonna do just fine. Assemble your team, and I will call you with further instructions. Over and out. Just walking my beat, friend. Mexico's my beat. I'm walking it. I throw shapes and they catch 'em. Set 'em up and watch 'em fall. Have him meet me at the bull fight, five p.m.

Boy

Quiere chicle? (Do you want bubble gum?)

Sands

What?

Boy

Que si quiere chicle. (I was asking if you want bubble gum)

Sands

Why? Why would I want that? Why would I want bubble-gum?

Boy

Es chicle de menta, sabe muy rico, en serio. Es que tengo una familia que mantener, hermanos, hermanas, papÃ¡, mamÃ¡, usted sabe. (It is mint bubble gum, is very good, really. I have a family to look after, brothers, sisters, dad, mom, you know.)

Sands

All right, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. This, should hold the both of us over for quite a long time. So. . . I don't ever want to see you again.

Boy

Gracias, Señor. (Thank you sir)

Sands

Fuck off. Hi.

Ramirez

Hello.

Sands

The CIA sharing a meal with the FBI. Now, if that isn't inter-agency co-operation, I just don't know what is.

Ramirez

I'm retired FBI.

Sands

A real agent never retires, he just, just takes it a little easier.

Ramirez

Why are we talking?

Sands

You tracked down Armando Barillo, for two years when he was running his operations out of San Antonio. Is that correct?

Ramirez

Spinning wheels. Never led to an arrest.

Sands

Well, he. . . he is in fact, sitting directly behind you.

Ramirez

I know, he settled back in. He's been living here for six years. Can't be touched.

Sands

Did you know that most agents never even see a top ten criminal for their entire careers? You brought down two, didn't you? And now your third is sitting in very close proximity. Now, retired or not, that has really got to. . . tug on your old short and curlies.

Ramirez

I'm a civilian now.

Sands

Didn't he kill that agent friend of yours? What was his name? Er, Archulater?

Ramirez

Yes. Barillo's a Mexican citizen. He can not be extradited for crimes committed in the U.S.

Sands

Did you happen to know of a Dr. Givarah? Worked for the cartel? This doctor, pumped your friend Archulater, full of drugs day after day, so that they could torture him for two weeks before he died. You must have known that. Dr. Givarah himself, having dinner with your prey. I wonder what it is they're up to now. Two weeks of torture, Jorge. Think about that. For your dead friend. For the job you didn't finish in San Antonio. Now, are you really going to let it slip away, again? I'd like you to have a bite of my pork, because it's. . . the world.

Announcer

Y ahora el grupo que todos esperaban, "Los mariachis". Pidan sus canciones mariachi por tan solo 5 pesos, un beso por 20 pesos, y su cogida de mariachi por solo 50 pesos. (And now, the group we were all waiting for, "The mariachis". Ask for your mariachi's song for just 5 pesos, a kiss for 20 pesos and more time with your mariachi for 50 pesos)

Lorenzo

Dónde diablos haz estado? (What a hell, where have you been?)

Elle

Muy lejos. Todavia chingando ah. (Far away, Still with this ah)

Lorenzo

Let me get Fideo.

Elle

I'm here for my guitar.

Lorenzo

Since last night.

Elle

Hey, hey, Fideo, it's me. Still drinking?

Lorenzo

Like a fish.

Elle

I guess we haven't changed so much.

Lorenzo

I didn't thing you'd ever come back for this thing.

Elle

Neither did I.

Lorenzo

Are we on?

Elle

I'll let you know. Let you know. Get him sober. We're gonna need him, Sol. Coffee, lots of coffee.

Sands

Sometimes a revolution is exactly what is needed, to clean up the system. One, giant enema, which just so happens to be my area of expertise. Bull fights. Bull hockey. You like this? The bull is stabbed, prodded, beaten, the bull is wounded. The bull is tired, before the matador, ever steps into the ring. Now, is that victory? Of course it is. You know the secret to winning? Creative sportsmanship. In other words. . . one has to rig the game. Go collect.

Cucuy

Ey vamos, dame. (Come on, give me that)

Aide

The president is giving a speech on the Day of the Dead. In the town of Culiacan. He's going to be isolated in the main edifisio in the centre of the plaza. Very easy access to him if. . . somebody can get you in.

Sands

Right. You're the man who can do that.

Aide

I am not the prince. I am the man behind the prince.

Sands

I see.

Aide

Hey, he's not the first prince I've served, nor the first one that I've betrayed.

Sands

You're a good rat. I like you.

Aide

I try.

Sands

The rest upon completion.

Aide

Mucho Gusto. (Nice to meet you)

Sands

Right, right.

Aide

Every goddamn time.

Carolina

QuÃ© quieres de la vida? (What do you want from life?)

Sands

Belini, how long have you and I done business together? A long time. And in a way, I kind of, almost, could have the tiniest smidgen of respect for you. Almost. But you need to stop farting around. Now, do you have the information that I need on Barillo, or do you not?

Belini

I have what you need. I'm just enjoying this, temporary position of power. I make you nervous?

Sands

You know that withholding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offence. Especially, when that officer has paid handsomely for it, and wouldn't think twice about ripping that patch off your eye-hole and skull-fucking you to death.

Belini

Chúpame (Fuck me)

Waitress

MÃ¡s cafÃo? (More coffee?)

Sands

No.

Waitress

Uy señor discúlpeme, que pena. Hay Dios mio. (Sorry sir. Oh my God, I am terribly sorry,)

Sands

I'm fine. Go away.

Waitress

Debe estar muy adolorido, estaba hirviendo el cafÃ©. (It must hurt you sir, the coffee was boiling)

Sands

I am fine. Go away. You're off the hook. Leave me alone. That spill just cost you your life. Little help? I know it's on you somewhere. Somewhere. All right. Time to get messy. Well, I suppose I should thank you for not sticking it up your ass. However. . . You're about a quart low.

Ajedrez

You're gonna pay for that, cop.

Sands

Why doesn't my key work any more?

Ajedrez

It's too small.

Sands

Ooh!

Ajedrez

Stand back.

Sands

I just. . . I brought you a gift.

Ajedrez

I'm still mad at you.

Sands

Trust me, it wasn't easy to get, so. . .

Ajedrez

Come closer and I'll thank you.

Sands

Are you trying to give me a boner?

Ajedrez

Closer, I said.

Sands

How 'bout that little tip off? Guarantees you a big arrest, and, a commendation. Even from your twisted little agency.

Ajedrez

I'm impressed, but then what?

Sands

Would you like to hear my plan?

Ajedrez

Either that, or I start target practice.

Sands

Okay. The new president, is on a quest to clear out the Barillo cartel. And Barillo has set up a counter-attack, by hiring a military general named Marquez. And he wants him to throw a coup d'etat while the president's visiting Culiacan. Now, I have a man inside as insurance. Just to make sure that Marquez never takes power. The, last piece of the puzzle, is Barillo. Your tip-off assures that Barillo is out of the picture while the battle ensues. In the aftermath of this very healthy revolution, I will calmly waltz away with the twenty million pesos that Barillo is prepared to pay Marquez for the coup.

Ajedrez

And you want me to go with you?

Sands

You detain Barillo, with the information that you have. And then, er, join me and, and, and share the spoils.

Ajedrez

EstÃ¡s loco, loquisimo. (You are crazy, insane)

Sands

You meet me two nights from now, at La Piletta, ten p.m. sharp. And, er, bring only what's important to you. Oh yeah, it might get a, a wee bit dangerous there, sugar-butt, so, er, can you dig it?

Ajedrez

I can dig it.

Sands

I want my key back.

Ramirez

Testing, one, two, testing.

Sands

Hello, can you hear me now? Okay. Fucking bells. Er, did you assemble your team?

Elle

You know I did. Why are you having me followed?

Sands

Oh, yeah, that. Let's just call that a guarantee of compliance, shall we? Because Cucuy also provides protection.

Elle

From what? Mosquitoes?

Sands

Oh gosh. I really wouldn't wanna mess with him if I was you, because he's a bit of a live wire that one. And he's not the happiest that you killed his men. Oh, yeah, by the by, I have your next assignment.

Aide

You the mariachis? This is the back entrance, make a note of it.

Soldier

QuiÃ©nes son? (Who are they?)

Aide

Son los músicos (The musicians)

Soldier

Por quÃ© pesa tanto? ( Why is this so heavy?)

Lorenzo

Tiene amplificación. (It has amplification)

Soldier

Toca. (Play)

Elle

All right.

Soldier

Pasen. (Come in)

Elle

Let's go.

Aide

I was afraid you couldn't play.

Elle

Are you kidding?

President

Lo que estamos buscando es el respaldo de la gente de este Estado. Un hombre puede hacer muchas cosas por si solo, pero con el respaldo de su pueblo puede hacer mucho mejor. (We are searching for the back- up of our people. A man can do lot of things alone, but with the back-up of his people can do it better.)

Lorenzo

I wonder how much we're getting paid for this shit?

Fideo

A man wants nothing. He's invincible. Come on. Hey, are you gonna tell him that this is his last meal?

Elle

Señor Presidente, alguna canción que quiera oír en particular. ( Mr. Presindent, any song you want to hear?)

President

La Malagueña.

Lorenzo

This is pay from El Presidente? I can't buy half a tequila with this shit.

Fideo

It was meant as an honour.

Lorenzo

Fuck honour. We need money.

Elle

His call is tomorrow. Enough for everybody. Even for you, Lorenzo.

Lorenzo

Why are you selling your interest in squaw? What's in it for you?

Elle

Only revenge. A much delayed revenge. Go practice.

Fideo

Practice? Playing or shooting?

Elle

What do you think?

Fideo

I don't think. I drink.

Sands

Yeah, hello.

Ramirez

Been following Barillo and the good Dr. Givarah.

Sands

Oh, Agent Ramirez, no longer retired. Good man, welcome to the fold.

Ramirez

I haven't spotted any illegal activities yet, only that Dr. Givarah is scheduled for a medical procedure on November 2nd.

Sands

Ah-ha. The Day of the Dead. That's tomorrow.

Ramirez

I also identified a member of the group, as Billy Chambers. A fugitive, we've been wanting to pick him up for some time now.

Sands

Billy Chambers. Yeah. You sure?

Ramirez

Bet my badge on it.

Sands

Well, whatever they're up to, I can guarantee that it's going to happen tomorrow. So, my suggestion to you is. . .

Ramirez

What's going down tomorrow?

Sands

If you see an opening, take it.

Ramirez

What do you know?

Sands

Not enough, get inside.

Ramirez

I got nothing. Gotta get in. I got nothing. They make a move, I don't have a move to make. What you gonna do, stupid? Billy Chambers is on the move. Where are you going? You're buying a taco. This is too easy. Where are the other guys? This is a set-up. It smells like a set-up. I'm making my move. (Speaks in Mexican)

Chambers

Pollo. (Chicken)

Ramirez

Billy Chambers.

Chambers

Well, that depends on who's asking.

Ramirez

Thought it was you.

Chambers

Yeah.

Ramirez

Here, let me pay for this.

Chambers

Oh, thanks. Oh, God, no. Is that real?

Ramirez

Yes it is.

Chambers

God damn, what took you boys so long? Oh, hey, friend. You ain't gonna need that. Believe it or not, man, I'm ready to go.

Ramirez

Let's talk over there.

Chambers

After you. Man, I just wanna get outta here. I've been on the run, hiding out here, down in Mexico, for the last. . . eight goddamn years. And, er, working for this here cartel for the last four. I ain't got no shit, all I got is what I'm wearing on my back. And I can't go nowheres, sorta got me by the balls, you know.

Ramirez

Jorge Ramirez. I'll take you in under the FBI's supervision and protection. Until we can take you back to the States, where you will be prosecuted for the crimes you committed.

Chambers

In the U.S?

Ramirez

In the U.S.

Chambers

Yeah. The things I've had to do for this goddamn cartel are, unspeakable.

Ramirez

You really don't know what Barillo's up to?

Chambers

I'm close to the man. . . I'm real close, but, he don't let nobody in, that cocksucker.

Ramirez

Can you get him close to Barillo?

Chambers

Him?

Ramirez

I need your help.

Chambers

Then you'll get me outta here?

Ramirez

Then I'll get you outta here.

Chambers

Him too.

Cucuy

There's cartel on every corner.

Elle

Sands told me you handle protection.

Cucuy

I don't work for Sands any more. And since I'm a MexiCAN, I can do whatever I want.

Elle

Then I guess I don't work for Sands, neither. Goodbye.

Cucuy

There's a price on your head. I'm going to collect. Why don't you just tell Barillo everything you know? And then maybe he'll just cut off your hands.

Elle

And if I don't?

Cucuy

You know that old man I killed in your village? What if your whole village was next?

Elle

Would you kill them?

Cucuy

Me? They certainly would.

Elle

Then I guess I have no choice. . . but to kill you all. You. . . are last.

Cucuy

Ay ta el cabrón., agÃ¡rrenlo. Y si no lo agarran voy a matar a tu hermana. (There is!, catch him!. If you don't do it I will kill your sister) That should put him out for a few days. And give him some nasty dreams.

Piano teacher

Para tocar hay que relajar los dedos. La música es pura, debe nacer del alma. Si el alma es pura la música nacerÃ¡ fÃ¡cilmente. (To play well you have to relax your fingers. Music is pure, it have to birth from your soul. If the soul is clean, music will flow easily)

Barillo

Y si el alma no es pura? (And if the soul isn't clean?)

Piano teacher

Entonces hay que practicar como la chingada. (Then you have to practice like shit)

Chambers

May I present to you, er, Señor Cucuy.

Barillo

Get this condescending ass out of here.

Chambers

Hey, you want me to break his fingers?

Barillo

No, I want you to chop them off.

Chambers

I was just making a joke.

Barillo

I wasn't. Gracias maestro. Sit, please. So, you're the man that brought us the mariachi.

Cucuy

The man I work for, Mr. Sands, he is using the mariachi to kill General Marquez.

Barillo

So, you want to join us? Here's how it works. There's the bait, there's the trade. A favour for a favour.

Cucuy

So El Mariachi is the trade.

Barillo

You are.

Chambers

This ain't my line of work.

Man 1

Ahí viene el General Marquez. (Here it comes the General Marquez)

Man 2

Traigan al Mariachi. (Bring the Mariachi)

Elle

No te mate porque ya había demasiada sangre derramada, pero estoy viendo que la sangre va a brotar otra vez. (I didn't kill you before because too much blood was spilled, but now, I think blood will appear again.)

Soldier

General Marquez, el mariachi no estÃ¡ aquí. Se escapó. (General Marquez, el Mariachi is not here. He escaped)

Marquez

Tú tambiÃ©n te vas a escapar. (You are going to escape too)

Fideo

Hey, hey, hey, Lorri. Why?

Lorenzo

Practice shooting, not drinking. Bueno.

Elle

We're on.

Man

Por orden del presidente tienen que revisar cualquier coche que pase, por armas o drogas. (The president order to check every vehicle, we are looking for guns or drugs.)

Chambers

You know that fucker's been blockading all the goddamn roads.

Barillo

Take us back another way. By order of the president. Who does this guy think he is? He wants to get rid of me? Fine. I'll get rid of him. Replace him even. Then, I will simply, disappear. VÃ¡monos ya. (Let's go now)

Chambers

Si vÃ¡monos man. (Yeah, let's go man)

Barillo

Don't put me out completely. Have my men wait outside.

Ramirez

Gracias. Barillo and Dr. Givarah must all ready be inside of the building. . . having entered through the back or basement. They should be mid-procedure. AFN agents. This is going down now. If Barillo wanted to look, unrecognizable to authorities, he succeeded. Massive tissue loss due to an only, partially completed facial reconstruction, wasn't necessarily the cause of death. They switched bodies. Barillo.

Ajedrez

FBI. He was, anyway. Bring him along.

Sands

Listen. I cannot do everything by myself, I need someone to go in there with me. No, I lost my inside man, probably dead. And Cucuy, greedy turd that he is, ratted me out and has disappeared. Plus, I'm pretty sure the cartel are shadowing me. No, listen, I have got a swell bunch of guys intercepting Marquez's army, but they've got no guns. Now, listen, I want you to understand me. This is no time to screw the pooch, because this is supposed to be the big dance number. All right? Hello? Hello? Are you there? Okay. Okay, I'm going to freak right out. I would like the puerco pil-bil, and a tequila with lime. Yeah, listen, er, I need a new line. This one's been compromised. Okay. Thank you. I'll be waiting here at the La Voca Volando. That's right, the flying, cow.

Ajedrez

Sheldon. You really didn't see it coming, did you? Sorry, baby. I told you I wasn't interested in your schemes. Too small.

Sands

Oh. My Christ. Is that Barillo?

Ajedrez

That's the new Barillo. The old Barillo died in surgery a few hours ago.

Sands

What kind of cartel would have you running its operation?

Ajedrez

I'm his daughter.

Barillo

You've been spying on my operation for some time.

Sands

I feel it's only fair to warn you, that killing me is crossing the line, and you will have every single marine from here to Guantanamo Bay up your keister, mister. So, just know that.

Barillo

Fortunately for you, nothing you did, is worth dying over. But you have only seen too much. We want to make sure that doesn't happen again.

President

En este el día de muertos, yo les vengo a ofrecer una nueva vida, una vida llena de... (In this Day of the dead, I offer you a new life, a life full of ...) That sounded a little extreme for a parade.

Aide

Those are troops coming up from the south, sir.

President

Whose?

Aide

Emiliar Marquez.

President

Wh. . . what do we do?

Aide

We stay here. This place is fortified. It's much easier to defend this place than to chance going out in the open.

President

What are you talking about, fortified? Come here! (Speaks in Mexican)

Aide

Just stay clear of those windows, sir. You let me handle it.

Sands

My name is Sheldon Geoffrey Sands. I work for the Central Intelligence Agency. I throw shapes. I throw shapes. I set them up. I watch them fall. I'm living la vida loca.

Boy

Quiere mÃ¡s chicle? (Do you want more bubble gum?)

Sands

No. I'm terribly sorry about your chewing gum, but, listen. . . I will give you this. . . ouch. . . if you'll be my eyes.

Boy

Es un dólar. (It's a dollar)

Sands

Well, I meant, this. I need you to take me to the centre of the city.

Boy

Alguien te viene siguiendo? (Somebody is following you?)

Sands

Well, it's a little difficult for me to tell right now, because I'm kind of having a bad day. Do you see somebody?

Boy

Un tipo. Se estÃ¡ acercando. (A man, he is getting closer)

Sands

Okay. Okay. Listen, have you ever seen one of these?

Boy

Si.

Sands

Ever used one?

Boy

No.

Sands

Don't ever, because they're very, very bad. But right now, what I need for you to do, is to aim this at the bad man that's following us. . . and shoot him in the head.

Boy

Matarlo? (Kill him?)

Sands

Oh, yeah. Very martalo. Close?

Boy

Si.

Sands

Okay. Smoke him. Smoke the fucker. Send him straight to fucking Broadway.

Boy

No puedo. (I can't)

Sands

What?

Boy

No puedo. (I can't)

Sands

Fuck it. Come here. Right or left?

Boy

Derecha. (Right)

Sands

Was that my right, or your right?

Boy

Mi derecha. (My right) Hombre equivocado. (Wrong man)

Sands

Sorry. Look me in the eyes. . . and then kill me.

Boy

Ten. (Here)

Sands

Oh, good boy. Now you're thinking. Take me to the centre of the city where there will be even more dough.

Elle

Por ti, por nuestra hija, por Mexico. (For you, For our daughter, for Mexico) In my past, I'd take a little from the bottom, now I realize, start from the top. The president is a. . . is a good man. I'll go around back. Meet me in five.

Ajedrez

Vigilenlo. (Watch him)

Man 1

Podríamos torturarlo. (We could torture him)

Man 2

Es del FBI. (Is from de FBI)

Man 1

No, ya estÃ¡ retirado, eso no cuenta. (No, he is retired, that doesn't count)

Man 2

A mi me torturaron una vez y no me gusto. Y sabes una cosa cabrón, me chingaron el huevo izquierdo. Y que crees, se me aguitaron todas las ideas. (They tortured me once and I didn't like it. You know, they cut me the left nut. And what do you think, my ideas just disappear.)

Man 1

Entonces que hacemos con Ã©l? Then, what we do with him?)

Man 2

En la comida lo discutimos. (We discuss it at dinner)

Man 1

Okay.

Man 2

Y tu Blanca Nieves, cuida a ese pinche cochino. (And you Snow White, match this idiot)

Lorenzo

Just stay low, they'll leave us alone.

Fideo

Ah.

Lorenzo

What the fuck?

Fideo

I don't like military.

Taxi driver

Get out.

Sands

Why are we stopping?

Taxi driver

We can't go any further.

Sands

W. . . Why. . . Why not?

Taxi driver

Look out there, it's a fucking coup d'etat.

Sands

I can't see, fuck-mook. I have no eyes.

Taxi driver

Well then, listen to it, fucker. The military's throwing over the presidency. All hell's broken loose.

Sands

Work, work, work.

Taxi driver

You guys have to get out now. Keep your money, 'cos I'm not moving one inch.

Sands

Okay. Vamonos. (Let's go)

Woman

Cabrones, que viva Mexico y la democracia. (Idiots, life for Mexico and the democracy)

Lorenzo

Fuck! Now what?

Fideo

Do you know armour piercing bullets?

Lorenzo

Yeah.

Fideo

These are much better.

Elle

QuÃ© quieres de la vida? (What do you want from life?) Good choice.

Fideo

You ready?

Lorenzo

Yeah.

Fideo

Okay, let's go.

Aide

Presidente! Presidente! It's no longer safe to be here, sir. Let's go. Salga. (Get out)

President

Nicolas, que pasa? (Nicolas, what's happening?)

Aide

But you have a meeting with General Marquez, sir.

Elle

It feels like you need some protection, sir.

President

Who are you guys?

Elle

Sons of Mexico, sir.

Sands

Are we in front of the building?

Boy

Si. Alli en frente. Ahi vienen, dos tipos. (Yes, in front. They are coming, two men)

Sands

Okay. This is it, kid. I don't hear you running.

President

Why do the people want me dead? I've done nothing but try to help them.

Fideo

What are you talking about? Come over here. Let me show you something. Look out there. You see? Well, don't look too close, presidente, but your people are out there fighting for you, you understand?

Elle

Presidente, take off your jacket.

President

This also?

Elle

Yes. Put this on.

Lorenzo

Yes!

President

What is this, pay-off?

Lorenzo

This is money someone paid to have you killed.

Fideo

Yeah, and now it's money to save your life, Presidente. Here, get some tequila for yourself.

President

No.

Marquez

Busquen el dinero. Presidente! (Look for the money. President) Salgan de aquí y cierren la puerta. Carolina? (Get out of here and shut the door. Carolina?)

Elle

Murió. (Died)

Marquez

Tu hija? (Your daughter?)

Elle

Murió. (Died)

Marquez

Y tu? (And you?)

Elle

Muerto. (Dead)

Marquez

Y yo? (And I ?)

Elle

Viviendo bien. (Living good) En el infierno. (In hell) Cada cosa en su lugar. (Everything in his place)

Ajedrez

Martín, soy yo abreme aquí. Como esta todo, abreme por favor. Un beso, gracias. Perdón Martín. (Martin, It is me, open here. How is everything? Open please. A kiss, thanks. I am sorry Martin.)

Barillo

Presidente! QuÃ© paso aquí? (President, what happened here?)

Ajedrez

You fucking little monkey. Stand up. See anything you like?

Sands

No.

Chambers

Do you remember a man named Archulater?

Barillo

Why?

Chambers

May I present to you, Special Agent Jorge Ramirez.

Ramirez

You tortured and murdered Agent Archulater. He was my partner. He was also my friend.

Barillo

Agent Ramirez, you have to follow certain rules.

Ramirez

Oh, I'm retired. Rules don't apply to me any more than they do to you.

Barillo

Mr. Chambers.

Chambers

Yes, sir?

Barillo

Are you just going to stand there?

Chambers

I'm afraid anything but standing's going to cost you extra.

Barillo

You leave me no choice.

Ramirez

Hey.

Sands

Did you get your man?

Ramirez

One of them.

Sands

If that isn't inter-agency co-operation, I just. . . I just don't know what is.

Ramirez

Nos vemos. (See you)

Sands

Fuck you.

Boy

EstÃ¡ bien? (Are you alright?)

Sands

No lo sÃ©. (I don't know)

Boy

Lo estarÃ¡. (You will be)

Lorenzo

La vida.. (Life... ) (Singing)

Fideo

(Singing)

Carolina

QuÃ© quieres de la vida? (What do you want from life?)

Elle

Libertad (Freedom)

Carolina

Simple. (Easy)

Elle

No.

THE END

TO INDEX SCRIPTS